Today the expert asked me many things about my life, hence I had a chance to look back through the passing time. There's nothing really really worth complaining about my life. It's nearly perfect. But yes, I saw the hole: too much sensitiveness.
Perhaps I have to learn how to let things be and don't try to sketch a perfect prospect then pushing myself to make it true. I did push myself too much.
I haven't read anything so far but some manga collection. Is it true that I have lost the habit of reading? In the past I could read days and nights, every kind of books. But now, the book that I've read recently is... Movable Feast of E.Henmingway. It's as old as the hill.
I even haven't written the first line for my novel. How could I finish it before the deadline 30th April? Or would I miss the contest?
I have been waiting for 4 years. It's a big chance to prove that I myslef am totally right for the things I did and the article of faith I hold. All the doors to this big world would open to me then. I know I can't wait for another 4 years. I would be 26 at that time, and there're many other important things to do then, not the time to prove you are right or wrong. Only youngsters wanna prove something. I don't want myself still an ardent youngster when I'm 26, at least in this case.
I'm thinking of quitting job, seriously. Quitting the best job ever just to write novel - I told myself - are you serious, Nomad? Well, that's food for thought.
The agency has called for stupid issue. F*&k 'em!
Anyway, just enjoy the pizza tonight with those lovely kids. Things would be alright.
